As beautiful as it sounds, the path to heal from our emotional wounds is truly not a bed of roses. After all, we have done so many things to avoid the root of the problems yet healing brings us right back to meet the monsters we’ve tried so hard to escape in our life. Truth to be told, when I was dealt with this mental health challenge, I really wondered where in the world am I going to summon the confidence and courage to surmount this ordeal?

Even though I don’t have a one-size fit all answer to this question, I found 4 ways that worked for me.

1. Check in with the well of first attempts

As a strong self critic, I’ve had the habit to discredit my achievements and think nothing of them. I’m not sure if it’s an asian thing but doing well is expected. Anything less just doesn’t make the cut. As you may guess, I often see myself as not good enough and that can be very discouraging.

Things started to change when I adopted a new mindset of giving myself credit for every first attempt, regardless of whether I achieved the desired outcome. This approach worked very well for me as it is effort focused and not outcome focused.

Firstly, I’m pretty sure before each of our every first try resides its fair share of anxiety, fear and uncertainty. Nonetheless, we still took that first step which in my opinion, is a win. It’s important to see that regardless the result, we took action.

Secondly, there are many first attempts I can draw strength from. It may sound lame, but I even think about the first time I took a public bus on my own. Looking back, I find myself thinking, “Wow, I did that. Surely I can take on this challenge too.” When I shift into this mindset, my mind and body seem to align, nudging me toward problem-solving and action. That’s how I found courage and confidence to take one step after another, to where I am today on my healing journey.

2. Get inspiration from others

I draw courage from other people’s experiences through podcasts, biographies, and everyday conversations. I learn how they navigate life’s challenges—whether or not they are related to mental health. While the circumstances may differ, it is their resilience and spirit in overcoming these challenges that truly inspire me.

If you’d like to find out some of the sources I go to, you may check out the D.I.D advocates here.

3. Get a safe space

Healing can be deeply energy-draining before its benefits begin to surface. My energy levels often dip drastically after I cry my eyes out during therapy sessions. When that happens, all I want is to return to a safe space to tend the open emotional wounds and take the time I need to get myself back on my two feet. Knowing that I have such a space gives me the courage to face my trauma and go through the rough patches over and over again. In my case, my safe space is both my house and my husband.

Yes, a safe space need not be a place. It can also be a person, an animal or a thing. Remember this. You define what is safe to you.

4. Faith, Study, Practice

(Heads up, this point is about my Buddhist faith.)

I am a practitioner of Nichiren Buddhism and a member of Soka Gakkai. In my daily prayers, I chant for the courage and wisdom to rise above this ordeal. I also make a conscious effort to study and apply Buddhist teachings, and to read the guidance of our mentor, Daisaku Ikeda. Through these practices and reflections, I have been able to gain perspective, find meaning, and hold on to hope.

One teaching that impacted me the most is ‘Winter Always Turns to Spring‘. Even till today, this reminder is deeply etched in my heart and soul.

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And this is how I’m able to look to the future with confidence and determination. I hope the above provide you some ideas on how you can discover your own source of courage and confidence to go through your healing journey. Healing is really tough and messy work. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but there’s definitely light at the end of the tunnel.

In my subsequent entries, I’d share practical tips on how I turn my house into my haven for healing. Meanwhile, let me know in the comments below if this entry is helpful to you!

Till then, I wish you safety and happiness!