Hi there! I hope you’ve been well. Before you proceed, if you haven’t already, do check this out to discover how having a safe space helps in my healing journey.

In this three parts series, I’m going to first share how I create a safe physical space for my healing. This framework that I use may or may not work the same for you but there’s no harm in learning and tweaking what I did to make it yours.

The framework I used to reset my physical space is pretty straightforward. It is simply based on our five senses – sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing.

1. Sense of Sight
   I can’t emphasise enough how much a clean and organised space affects my mood. I don’t need a perfectly minimalistic or spotless home, but I struggle when my space feels like the aftermath of a tornado. It stresses me out. Stress and healing don’t really gel well. So I’d make sure to maintain a level of tidiness and cleanliness. I’d also embark on occasional decluttering to dispose items that no longer serve any useful purpose, especially those that triggers negative emotional response within me.
   
   I also live by this belief that ‘out of sight, out of mind’. So another thing that I did was to keep the things that matter within my sight. For example, I have pictures of me and my husband around the house. It reminds me what I’m fighting for.
   
   Another thing we do is to install warm lights at home instead of using harsh white lights. This softens the vibe at home, creating a space that is cozy and warm.
   
   
2. Sense of Smell
   Unlike my hubby, I’ve never been a person who bothers much about scent until the past few years. On the days where I was having trouble sleeping or filled with anxiety, my hubby would fill the rooms with lavender scent, camomile scent, ocean scent, white sage scent and many more depending on our needs in that moment. I found that it really helps in uplifting and calming my mood. As such, I’ve also started using pillow sprays that help me to relax and ensure that our physical space smells good.
   
   
3. Sense of Taste
   If there’s one thing I’d change, it’s what I ate during my healing journey. I consumed plenty of chips, ice cream, chocolate and other processed food. I kept them readily stock piled and easily accessible at home. Yes, they tasted great and were my ‘comfort’ food then. I was almost addicted to them and you guessed right, I put on around 20kg after that!
   
   I may not be able to change the past, but I can influence the present and the future. As such, I now stock my home with nourishing options like unsweetened oat milk, pure honey, dark chocolate, fruits, chia seeds, nuts and many more. I also bring around bottles filled with plain water. If you currently rely on junk food for comfort, I strongly encourage you to explore healthier alternatives. While we may once in awhile succumb to the temptations outside, our homes are spaces we can intentionally shape to better support our well-being.
   
   If you have a habit of drowning your sorrows in alcohol and tobacco, it’s highly encouraged to remove them out of your dwelling. Easy said than done but if you’re serious about recovery, you’d do what is necessary. Do seek professional help if you need to.
   
   
4. Sense of Touch
   I’ve found that soft surfaces help activate my calming neural pathways, foster a sense of safety and comfort, and support nervous system regulation. Because of this, I keep soft toys around my space for cuddles and a fluffy blanket on the sofa to wrap myself in. We used to have a plush carpet where I could dig my toes in, until we encountered a flea situation while fostering two stray cats. Even so, my husband lovingly tufted a small soft rug for me to use during chanting.
   
   Speaking of our foster pets, touching and carrying them brought me so much sense of calm and comfort! Having them in my safe space is truly a big bonus.
   
   
5. Sense of Hearing
   I can’t stress enough how significant a role music has played in my healing journey. I use it to regulate my emotions and reduce stress and anxiety, wherever I am, including at home. Beyond my personal healing playlist on Spotify, I often fill my space with classical music, lo-fi, space music, and deep house.
   
   At times, I also choose quiet, allowing my space to be filled with natural sounds from the garden downstairs instead. Immersing myself in birdsong and the rustling of leaves invites a gentle sense of life and calm into my environment.
   

So there you go! I hope this has given you some framework to discover what works best for you when it comes to creating a conducive physical space for your healing.

I gotta say that these adjustments worked largely because I’m fortunate to now own my place with my husband, where the only person I need to work with is my better half. If my mental health crisis had occurred while I was still living with my parents and siblings, I doubt these adjustments would have been as effective. I’m pretty sure I’d have chosen to move out and stay somewhere more conducive to my healing because the uncomfortable truth is that we cannot grow or heal in toxic environments.

This is one reason healing feels so difficult. Sometimes, we have to confront the reality that what we are trying to save or hold on to is the very thing causing our pain and letting go of it can bring immense grief. Well, grief is a big topic for another day!

For now, let’s focus on creating that safe space that works best for you to the best you can! This experience will be both enjoyable and deeply rewarding as you earnestly discover more about yourself. In the next entry, I’d share how I created a safe personal space for my healing.

Till then, I wish you warmth, a filled tummy and a splendid New Year!