After creating a physical safe space, this entry focuses on how I intentionally built a safe virtual space to support my healing.

When I think about my virtual space, I’m referring to everything I consume and expose myself to online including my phone contacts, emails, social media feeds, algorithms, cloud storage, all of it. Overkill? Maybe, to some. But for me, it was necessary.

I operate by two simple rules of thumb:

1. If it doesn’t serve my well-being, it goes into the bin.
2. If it’s no longer useful and I haven’t looked at it in more than two years, it goes into the bin.

Here’s what I did to create a more supportive and intentional virtual environment:

1. Deleted cold contacts, unwanted photos, videos, and apps on my phone
2. Decluttered storage across my phone, desktop, and cloud
3. Cleared out old emails and unsubscribed from unnecessary newsletters
4. Unfollowed drama-mongers, chronic complainers, and attention-seekers—whether influencers or people from my personal circle
5. Followed accounts that inspire me or genuinely make me laugh
6. Filtered my exposure to media that thrives on conspiracy theories, gossip, rumours, and fear. If it’s not factual, objective, or constructive, I don’t give it my attention
7. Chose empowering wallpapers for my phone and desktop
8. Kept my desktop screen clean so I could actually see that wallpaper (PS: I used to keep tons of files on my desktop for “easy access”)
9. Organised my files and folders neatly. (PS: Doing this gave me an unexpected sense that maybe, I can organise my life too)

They sound doable, don’t they?

The hardest part for me, especially for points one and two, was learning to let go.

“What if I need this one day?”
“What if I regret deleting it?”
“It’s such a pity to let this go…”

Those thoughts kept looping.

This is where having Athena and Yolanda helped immensely, even though they can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Both of them are rational and objective. There’s very little room for what ifs, should’ves, or could’ves. They interrogate the purpose of keeping something like it’s a cross-examination, and if the justification doesn’t hold up, it goes straight into the bin.

That said, they don’t always agree.

I remember one spring-cleaning session where I came across an old photo of a letter from my mum. In it, she described me as self-absorbed, selfish, inconsiderate, a daydreaming fool alongside many other hurtful things.

Athena wanted to trash it immediately. It was clear to her that it violated my first rule of thumb. It was exactly what it was: trash.

Yolanda, however, wanted to keep it. Not because it was healthy but because she wants to prove my mum wrong and shove this letter back in her face out of spite.

As for me, I only wanted to prove what was written wrong because I wasn’t sure if I am as she had described (well, turns out I’m so much more interesting hahaha). Unlike Yolanda, I hold no malice towards her.

It took a few more years before I finally destroyed both the physical letter and its digital copy in 2025. When I sat with it long enough, I realised I had been clinging to that letter because I was approaching it from a victimised state of mind.

When I looked at it through the lens of a victor instead, there was honestly nothing to prove. The letter stopped being about me as a “failed person” and became more about my mum’s unfulfilled needs and unmet expectations. We were simply on very different pages in life.

Recognising that brought a deep sense of peace and surprisingly, it also opened up space for me to consider gentler ways of supporting her.

I hope you can see how relieving these exercises can be when done with clear intention and mindfulness. They played a meaningful role in my healing.

So don’t rush through this mindlessly just for the sake of doing it. This takes real, hard work. Sit with the process. Notice what comes up emotionally as you create your safe virtual space. Dig deeper when something feels uncomfortable.

And most importantly, take your time. 🤍

Lastly, I’d say the next part of this series is the most important. I’d be sharing about how I create safe personal space wherever I am. So please subscribe and get the update when the post goes up!

Till then, please take good care of yourself and may 2026 be a year you’re proud of!