I introduced Athena a little here but just like with any other human beings, I am still slowly getting to know her and to my surprise, I experienced her within the same consciousness space yesterday.

For context, Athena is generally very passive and quiet. Even when I checked in with my alters, she doesn’t share nor appear much. As such, my impression of her so far is more like a dependable, silent, strong elder sister. So what made her fronted?

Yesterday morning, on the ride to the clinic, my husband and I had a little friction. Although without any ill intention, he mentioned something along the line that he is giving me a ride so I shouldn’t complain so much. It was honestly a small matter but I realised that it triggered Athena.

At first, I was just a little sad that my comment was blown out of proportion and that my husband and I were both a tad too sensitive about it. I suddenly heard Athena in my head, “Is he aware that we are more than capable to do things by ourselves and don’t need to deal with such statements?” She didn’t sound bitchy nor salty. She spoke more like it’s a matter of fact.

“Omg, naur… please don’t start. That’s not how I want to….” I slowly felt myself fade into the back seat, watching a show play out. Do you know how when you watch a character on a show do something which you disagree and you are like commenting about it but has zero impact nonetheless? That was what happened for me.

I remember parting ways with my husband for my therapy session. I wanted to give him a hug to dissolve any tension before I enter the room but I wasn’t in control. Athena simply walked off without any display of emotions. She was like, “Time to focus on therapy. Let’s go. Nothing else matter now.” On the other hand, I was like “Um, nopeeeee. My husband matter! Our relationship matter!!!” My resistance was futile because Athena has this ability to stay so focused on the thing she set out to do and she walked our body to the therapy room. Meanwhile, half the time I was praying that I didn’t worsen things between me and my husband. But it didn’t end there.

My therapist started the session two minutes late, missed some documents, and initially got our progress mixed up. It was unlike her, so I wondered if she was having one of those rough mornings—like we all have sometimes. But before I knew it, Athena was dropping truth bombs without considering any of these possible factors.

“Athena, com’on. Please, you’re making things awkward. She’s also human! What if she’s having a rough time lately?”

“Everybody’s having it rough and I’m simply reminding her that she should be ready for every session. It’s what we paid her for and it’s the profession she has chosen to do. Also, I didn’t blame nor disrespect her. All I did was corrected the things she mentioned wrongly about our past sessions. Don’t you agree having accurate information is important?”

“You’re right. I just wish we could’ve been gentler.” I mean how do I refute that? It is true that she didn’t talk to our therapist in a rude manner too. She was just straightforward.

“I’ll try. Ok, let’s move on.”

The session proceeded. I thought Athena would have allowed me to return to the front. Unfortunately, my therapist was challenging my beliefs around a sensitive topic during the session. Honestly, I was a bit nervous about facing the topic. Athena might have picked up on it, so she stayed. Once again, she dropped a lot of truth bombs —ones I probably would have filtered through and already cried my eyeballs out if it were up to me. Yet, she dropped them without any hesitation and any emotions.

“How are you so unaffected?”

“Because I am clear about my role and I chose not to attach any meaning to things like that. You know my role —to protect and help us carry on. Also, these are information that are crucial for our recovery. It’s best to share them as they are which I doubt any of you can share without being emotionally triggered.”

Once again, I was silenced with facts. There’s actually a lot of wisdom there, don’t y’all think? What impressed me most was also the way she is able to articulate the facts. She has a very clear thought process.

Athena stayed for the entire therapy session, and I could feel myself slowly returning to the front after stepping away. It felt strange—almost like shifting between dimensions. I fully came back when my husband surprised me with a crochet sunflower. It was an instant grounding moment, and I hugged him without hesitation.

I deeply appreciate both of them. Athena has been there for me countless times throughout my life, especially during moments when others called me an emotional baggage. Though she may seem lacking in empathy, I know I can always count on her. As for my husband—he’s my greatest treasure. I wouldn’t have come this far without him. He’s shown me what genuine love is, and that love is a powerful force that supports us on our recovery journey.